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Sunday, March 15, 2009
Learning to "Let Go and Let God".....
I know I haven't blogged in a while. Partly because we haven't had anything exciting going on lately to blog about, and partly because my thoughts have been so consumed with whats going on with my Mom, and that would just be too depressing to write about. Wouldn't want to be a Debbie Downer!
Another reason is that I've been so tired lately at night when the kids go to bed, which is when I usually get on the computer to blog. It never fails....at some point during the night I have to get up to go to the bathroom, and lately I've had trouble getting back to sleep. I stay awake thinking and worrying about everything. Most of you know that my Mom has breast cancer. Since she was diagnosed, I've been worrying a lot about her having to go through all of this, about her tough decisions, about getting her to her appointments, about my kids getting bounced around and about the possibility of myself getting breast cancer too. For the first 3 weeks or so after her diagnosis, I felt on the verge of a nervous breakdown! I've been much better lately, I guess because we have a clearer picture now of what's happening with her and we know the cancer hasn't spread everywhere, and there is a plan for her treatment.
I was reminded in church today that worrying gets you absolutely nothing...but maybe a anxiety attack, stress, a headache or an ulcer, oh yeah...and lack of sleep! I have no control over this situation. God is in control and I need to let go, trust God and take things day by day. All I can do is pray and be there for Mom as much as I can. He has given her the strength to overcome so much already and he will get her...and us, through this too! Mom's spirits are up. If she can let go and trust God...so can I!! Thank you all for your continued prayers and support! It means a lot to us!
So with that being said, I hope I can start sleeping through the night and am not to tired to keep on blogging!
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4 comments:
It is much easier to say that you are going to let go that to actually do it, but you are right; you are not in control of this situation as much as you would like to be. Just remember that God did not bring this to your Mom. God is the one surrounding her with the doctors and family and friends who are helping her. He is amazing and does amazing things. My prayer is that you will be sleeping better soon and will be able to do one of the things you do best. Keep your head high and find the good things in life. I have always admired that about you Kelly. You are such a positive person. Remember God is indeed Good.
I'm proud of you Kelly! I was hoping I could reassure you that I'm at peace with my decisions. And that only comes from God's guidance. I am not traveling this cancer journey alone. He never leaves us or forsakes us! I do appreciate all you are doing to help me through this, and I do hope I will find my source of comfort in God, family, and friends. No matter WHAT my circumstances! I love you Mom
It was neat to read your post and your mom's response. It is hard to let our fist open up and hold things up to the Lord with our hands wide open to what He has for us. Be encouraged that He is present and knows every single cancer cell in your mom's body and knows every intricacy of all of our bodies. Be strong--not in your own strength because it will surely fail, but through Him.
Kelly, I hope you know that sharing what is going on with you doesn't make you a "Debbie Downer". It's a hard thing that your family is going through, but you are right - God is with you each step of the way and He is in control. Let Him be your peace and comfort. Take your concerns and worries to Him (I have to do this over and over again, personally!) He is watching over your Mom and your family and will never leave you.
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